Saturday, October 6, 2012

30 Day Challenge - Day 8

For an explanation of the 30 day challenge, please read Day 1.

I am so thankful that God gives me second chances.  However, in my case, it’s more like 3rd, 4th, and 10th chances.  While I've been writing about my back and fully expecting healing, I haven’t been focused on what this challenge is all about.  It’s about God’s word.  It’s about digging into these passages of scripture.  It’s not about God performing miracles in my life (however, I still fully expect Him to).  It’s about me opening myself up to what God is saying in the verses.  
Lord, forgive me for losing focus and for making this all about me.  I ask that you speak to me through these verses and open my eyes to see what you want me to see.  By reading these verses out loud, let my mouth speak the words you want my ears to hear.  By holding your Word in my hands, let me feel what you want me to feel. 

God is good.  I only made it through 4 verses before He spoke to me and stopped me in my tracks.
Ephesians 1:18 I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you…

Jesus, this has been my heavy on my heart for days now.  I feel lost.  I find joy in serving you and writing these blogs.  Yet, I do not feel joy at work.  I remembering enjoying my job at one time, but that seems so long ago.

Do I doubt my job because they are asking me to take a certification exam that I have failed already?  Lord, you know how terrified I am to take that exam again.  You also know that I have not done my part in studying.  I have so many friends praying for motivation and understanding of my studies.    

It makes me question everything. Going back to Ephesians 1:18, what is the hope that you have called me to?  Lord, should I delay the exam?  Should I take it at all? 

The first thing that comes to mind is the sacrifice of getting my degree.  It took me 6 years.  I was working full-time and going to school.  I missed out on many social activities.  I missed out on a “real” college experience.  Instead, I had to balance school and work and fight for that degree.  In the end, it was worth it.  I know you carried me all those years.  I know you motivated me through family and friends to just keep pushing through, keep going, and don’t give up. 

Thank you for that reminder, Jesus.  This exam is temporary.  This exam is not the end of the world.  I have prayer warriors that are surrounding me with support.  As I learned at the retreat, my past does not define my identity.  My past failure does not dictate my future victory. 

Jesus, I thank you for your incomparably great power!  I thank you that the same power that raised you from the dead is available to me!  I thank you that I am not alone in this difficulty, but you are right here with me.  I thank you that God placed all things under your feet – especially this exam!  You are in control!  I ask once again for you to please give me the motivation to study, the wisdom and revelation and comprehension to understand what I am studying, the retention to remember it, and also Jesus please help me to focus only on the areas that will be on my specific test. 
John 14:12-14 (NLT) [Jesus said] “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!"

In the name of Jesus, I cast out distraction.  In the name of Jesus, I cast out failure.  In the name of Jesus, I cast out fear.  In the name of Jesus, I cast out the pain in my back!

In the name of Jesus, I accept victory into my life.  In the name of Jesus, I accept focus while studying.  In the name of Jesus, I accept peace.   In the name of Jesus, I accept healing for my back!


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