2013 OLW - Focus

God, you are GOOD!  Thank you, for once again showing me exactly what you want from me.  I kept praying for my One Little Word (OLW) for 2013.  Over and over again, "Focus" kept coming to mind.  I would see it more than once a day, but then again, I felt compelled to add new words daily too!  

Sometimes all it takes is reading blog posted on Facebook to find just the confirmation you were looking for! :)

Proverbs 31 Blog for 1/8/13: Focus Determines Direction

While selecting a word isn't difficult, it isn't something I take lightly.  Last year, my OLW was “Love”.  When I pick a word, the enemy tries to attack it.  IMMEDIATELY.  It’s happened 2 out of 2 years!  Satan doesn't want me to grow; he wants me to stay complacent.  He must think that starting the year off in a battle will cause me to give in and give up.  No!  I must fight!  Last year, I had to ask God immediately for help and He didn't not disappoint!  I learned so much about how to love others, how to love myself, and most importantly, how to love God.

Here are some of the areas I want to gain “Focus”:

1) To start 2013, I asked God to infiltrate every aspect of my life. I asked Him to give me His goals and His desires. The cool thing was that I had 4 "big" goals in 2012 with lots of milestones to reach each one.  I finished a lot of milestones last year, so I made some progress.  I just didn't finish any of my big goals.  I realized that while I want to lose weight and be out of debt, the goal God has for me is to glorify Him with my body and money. It takes the "focus" off me and puts it on God. I haven't removed any of the goals from last year’s list. They were all just modified.  I'm not worried about losing a pound a week or maxing out my 401k contributions.  I'm just going to ask for guidance and wisdom to focus on what I eat and where I spend my money so I stop doing things mindlessly.

Romans 8:5-8 (MSG) Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God’s action in them find that God’s Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self, ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn't pleased at being ignored.

2) I let myself get distracted by the things of this world.  I need to focus on Jesus.  Period.  This affects every area of my life.  If I focus on Jesus and honoring Him with my body, losing weight won't be a struggle.  If I focus on Jesus and honoring Him with my money, getting out of debt and reducing my expenses won't be a struggle.  If I focus on Jesus, I will see the people I am speaking with as He sees them and I will realize how valuable our time is together.  I will realize that I need to be in the moment and they deserve my undivided attention. 

2 Corinthians 5:14-15 (MSG) Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own.

3) I start too many things and never finish (Bible studies, countless books, getting out of debt, losing weight, cleaning the house, getting the certification). Sometimes, I get bored, overwhelmed or discouraged.  Then, I just give up.  Other times, I don't put my ALL into it.  This happens a lot at work.  Yes, I have a lot on my plate, but I know I could do better and do more if I just applied myself. 

Ephesians 6:5-8 (NLT) Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. As slaves of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart. Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.  Remember that the Lord will reward each one of us for the good we do, whether we are slaves or free.

·      4) I also get distracted in conversations or while praying. When someone else is talking, I find my mind wandering. Sometimes, I think of a question I want to ask the person that is talking, but to avoid forgetting my question, I stop listening to what they are actually saying. Other times, I want to tell them something that is completely unrelated to what they are saying.  I still tune them out so I don’t forget what I want to say.  Either way, I want to really hear what people are saying to me.  I want to be in the moment.  I want to learn to listen.  This principle applies to my prayers and being still long enough to hear God’s whisper.

James 1:19 (NLT) Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

Kings 19:11-13 (NLT) “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. 

Ironically enough, the word “focus” isn't in many Bible translations.  The New International Version (NIV) doesn't have the word at all!  The New Living Translation (NLT) uses it 4 times. The Message uses it a whopping 28 times!  The verses below might not say the actual word “focus”, but it does describe the action quite effectively. 

For 2013, I already have many distractions trying to steal my Focus.  Here are my weapons to fight the battle:

The definition of “focus” is…

     1) To concentrate attention or effort, emphasis

Philippians 4:8 (NLT)And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 

     2) A point at which rays (light, heat, or sound) converge toward another point

Romans 8:5 (ESV)For those who live according to the flesh, set their minds on things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, set their minds on things according to the Spirit.

      3) Adjustment for distinct vision, a state or condition permitting clear perception or understanding

Hebrews 12:2 (NKJV)Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

      4) A center of activity or attraction

Philippians 3:10-14 (NLT) I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!  I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.  No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

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Alternatively, a lesson in losing “focus”:

Matthew 14:24-31 Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”

But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”  Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”

“Yes, come,” Jesus said.

So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”

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This is exactly why I want focus. 

Stop worrying about my current circumstances, especially when the wind and waves are fierce.

Don’t fret over what may come. 

Forget about the past. 

Learn to be present in His Presence.  

Ephesians 1:17-19 (MSG) I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!

  http://myoneword.org/word/ashleyva-focus/ 

Giving Up

The 40 days before Easter Sunday are known as Lent, where Christians give something up sacrificially to prepare their hearts and minds for Easter. The objective is to focus all our attention on God instead of whatever object or person we give up. It requires discipline, denying desires, and clinging to Jesus for strength.

My current church does not practice Lent, but I want to keep it up. For most situations in my life, I can’t see the big picture and I want instant gratification. Denying myself is a very difficult task for me. During Lent, I know that the sacrifice is worth it. I know that I need that desperate grasp on Jesus’ hand and begging Him to help me through the day. Food is a constant addiction and in the past, I have given up sweets (candy, dessert, soda, ice cream, etc).

This year, I have so many goals that I felt the need to give up something that was occupying way too much time. TV.

Goal #1 Organize and declutter my house.
- It is already March and I haven’t finished 1 room. Not even a whole closet. I’ve adjusted my goal from 1 room a week to 1 room a month and still no progress.

Goal #2 Exercise.
- Whether it’s going to the gym, running in the neighborhood, or playing the Wii (I am not counting exercising with the Wii as watching TV – at least I’m working towards a goal!)

Goal #3 Lose weight.
- I mindlessly eat in front of the TV. It doesn’t matter if I just ate dinner, I will stuff my face with just about anything. If I don’t have junk food, I will concoct something.

Goal #4 Get out of debt.
- Watching TV doesn’t cost exactly (yes, I have a bill each month, but I’m not giving this up forever!), but I could be doing something better with my time to find ways to save money, be productive, or sell stuff.

Goal #5 Read at least 3 books to deepen my devotional life.
- Obviously TV impairs this one the most. I can’t multi-task on simple things, let alone reading and TV.

The night before Lent started, in true Fat Tuesday tradition, I frantically watched as many episodes of Once Upon a Time, Grey’s Anatomy and Parenthood as I could so my beloved DVR wouldn’t be overloaded at the end of 40 days. I knew there was a high chance that my limit of 5 episodes per show would end up overwriting itself by Easter. Only a few select shows earn the right to record unlimited episodes in my DVR.

Day 1 (Wednesday) was a success.

Day 2 (Thursday), I realized that Once Upon a Time (absence makes me obsess about my favorite shows and wonder what they are doing without me – even on nights they aren’t on), I heard that Sunday’s were celebration days to mimic Easter. On those celebration days, one can partake on whatever they were giving up. I researched it online and found this to be true! Sunday, hurry up!

Day 4 (Saturday), I had friends over for our monthly dinner and I wanted to show them “The Revolution”. We are all trying to lose weight and get our life organized and finances in order so I had to give them a glimpse of the show! I knew it was breaking Lent, but we had already planned this event before I decided to give up TV. Plus, it was the day before my celebration day!

Day 5 (Sunday), I went to church and then succeeded in having the TV on most of the day. Since I splurged the day before, my intent was to turn the TV off at 7 p.m. This did not happen. I was literally Up All Night watching “Suburgatory” and “New Girl”.

Days 6-11 (Monday – Saturday), I managed to stay super busy this week. With my leg healed, I can now join the running club! Wednesday was Weight Watchers meeting and Thursday small group. My plans fell through on Friday night and I SO wanted to watch TV. I didn’t cave in, and unfortunately I didn’t muster up the gumption to actually organize. Instead, I researched cars online.

Day 12 (Sunday), the craziest thing happened. This was my celebration day, the day I could partake in the forbidden activity. I turned the TV on and then realized I needed to call my mom. Afterwards, I tried to watch TV again, but it was bothering me so much that I finally had to turn the TV off!!! I think I watched one show all day! That’s when it occurred to me, when I give something up and focus on Jesus, that “thing” becomes unnecessary.

In fact, the show I watched just confirmed GIGO. Garbage In, Garbage Out. No wonder I think that happiness is a new car, being in a relationship, or having straight hair. All those messages are pounded into my head during one show! No wonder I have insecurities. No wonder I am scared to speak up about my faith. Christians are continually portrayed as weak, weird, fanatical, or pushy. None of them ever point out our “good” qualities like love, compassion, forgiveness, gentleness, mercy, kindness, consideration, faith, and sincerity. I realized that I am happier without TV!

"The Biggest Loser" is a somewhat wholesome show with very little profanity (at least it’s beeped out) or nudity. Yet, the past few weeks, the show was so full of tension, judgmental contestants, and petty fighting. I would end up feeling upset after the show was over! Who needs to feel stressed from watching TV?

Day 14 (Tuesday), I was doing my budget for the millionth time this year. I am about to pay off a big chunk of debt (yay!) so I was hypothetically reallocating my money. What I found shocked me. If I reallocated the way I wanted to, I wouldn’t have any money left over for savings or a car payment.

Here is the dilemma, I am a huge fan of Dave Ramsey and I am still on Baby Step 2 – Get out of debt. Yet, I want to start giving like no one else (Baby Step 7). With de-cluttering my house and getting rid of unnecessary stuff I realize how little I actually NEED. With participating in my church’s Feed My Starving Children (FMSC.org) event, I was reminded about how there are people in the world with nothing. Here I am carrying around 30 extra pounds of weight from my obsession with food and there are people that haven’t eaten all week. I can’t find wall decor I want for my cozy house while I pass by homeless people in DC every day. I am blessed beyond measure and here I am squeezing my budget to afford my “reasonably-priced dream car” (Ford Fusion Hybrid). Do I NEED a new car? Yes. Mine is 9 years old and hanging on by a thread. Do I need THAT car? No. Do I have a budget for a car payment? Yes. Can I live with another “budget car”? Absolutely!

One of the many paradoxes (Is that a word? Regardless, I’m using it.) I’m learning is that the more I give, the less I need. I want God to use me. I am so thankful that I have the finances to support His work to minister to those in need.

I don’t want to go back to how I was before. Watching TV every single night and being consumed by meaningless shows. Unsatisfied with my life because it doesn’t measure up to how the world views success.

During this 40 day deprivation, I found real joy in giving!

My Brand Name

I have been fumbling through 2011 like a lost puppy and I have not been able to figure out why this year has been so difficult. I used to manage school, work, social life, church and working out all at the same time. Now that I am on a regular 9-5 work schedule, I can’t seem to get anything done. Yes, I had some unfortunate events early in the year, but that cannot be my crutch for ruining the rest of it.

I haven’t been able to find time to go to the gym, to do chores around the house, or to run errands. Why am I floundering? I used to be so motivated all on my own. My upcoming vacation is the only thing motivating me to work out. Yet, I couldn’t work out for the past 5 months so I’d already be at my goal weight.

Someone just floored me with the question, “What is your brand name?” I had to ask for an explanation because I knew they weren’t asking what kind of jeans I was wearing. He explained that people size us up before we ever say a word. They look at us from a 20 foot perspective (our outward appearance) and by the first 20 words we say to them (20/20). What is the image I project for others to see? Where do I want to go? What is my next step? What is my long-term goal? Does my “brand name” accurately depict what I want others to see?

The answer to all of those questions is simple: “I don’t know”. Plus, it answers why I’m struggling to find motivation. I have no direction. I have no goals. What a concept. All those years of hearing “you need to set goals” or “plan for the future” are finally making sense!

Now the problem is that I don’t know what I want out of life. When I was younger, I imagined my life differently than it is turning out. Now that I’m old(er), I need to somehow figure out where I want to go and how I want to get there.

This whole idea is just profound. I want to write more, but I have to wrap my brain around the concept and figure out what my goals are. I just love how God puts people in our lives to help us with exactly where we are. (((hugs))) to God!